Tudor Friendship: Anne Stanhope and Mary Tudor.

I’ve just finished reading a book recently on female friendship - a book called Bad Friend: A century of revolutionary friendships by Tiffany Watt Smith, rather later than the Tudor period and incidentally very interesting - but it got me thinking about how difficult female friendship is to trace in the historical record. One of the most surprising things I found when researching Anne Stanhope for my latest book is her friendship with Princess/Lady/Queen Mary Tudor. On paper they were unlikely allies let alone friends but friends they became, when they were both young, and their friendship endured until the end of Mary’s life.

They first met when Anne entered royal service in 1529 when she was about 16 years old. A painting of her, now on display in Syon house, which may have been commissioned for the occasion, shows her to be a modest, pretty young woman. With a smooth round face, conservative dress, white hood and steady gaze. Her position at court almost certainly came about thanks to her stepfather, Richard Page’s influence, and she was given a position at court in the household of Katherine of Aragon as maid in waiting. Sir Richard Page had been knighted in 1529 and was now in a position to make such a request of his queen. Places at the court were much sought after by the daughters of noblemen, not just because it afforded them riches and respect but also because it granted them status independent of their husbands: An independent income, pension and personal access to the queen.

Katherine of Aragon had eight ladies in waiting. She also had thirty maids in waiting. As a maid in waiting Anne would have been required to have impeccable social skills and an understanding of how the court worked. Anne would have attended the queen and her ladies and in the same way that a lady in waiting was required to “have a vigilant and reverent respect and eye..(so that they)....would notice by their look or countenance what lacketh of is her pleasure to be had or be done,” a maid was required both to perform this duty for the queen and for her ladies in waiting.

Anne would also have been required to perform and entertain at the court. Singing, dancing, music and other pastimes such as cards were all accomplishments that she was required to possess. Needlework was an essential skill and one which she would have learnt since early childhood. Beauty was also a requirement, and had been since the late 1400’s when it was felt that beautiful young girls would grow into beautiful women and enhance the queen's household. Anne also had to be virtuous and completely chaste, for any scandal would reflect badly on the queen. Any hint of misconduct would mean instant dismissal….at least that was the theory. In practice the English court was felt by many to be a place of easy virtue, and Chapuys in 1536 was especially sceptical about the idea that Jane Seymour would have lasted so long at court with her virginity intact.

Henry’s second wife Anne Boleyn also began her career at court in Katherine of Aragon’s household and Anne Stanhope would have known her. Other ladies who Anne Stanhope knew and spent her time alongside include Jane Popyncort, Mary Zouche, Anne Weston, Mary Norris, Bridget Fogge, Elizabeth Darrell, Joan Champernowne, Dorothy Bradby and her future sister in law Jane Seymour. It is worth mentioning, given their later relationship, that one of Katherine’s ladies in waiting at this time, one whom Anne would certainly have known well, was Maud Green, the widow of Sir Thomas Parr and mother of Kateryn Parr. Anne and Kateryn would barely have known each other at this time, as at the time Anne joined the court Kateryn was being married to Edward Borough of Gainsborough, but they certainly knew of each other. Whilst at court Anne also met and got to know the queen’s daughter Mary who was of a similar age and they quickly became firm friends.

For Anne Stanhope, her affection for Henry and Katherine’s daughter, now Lady Mary, would surely have complicated her feelings as she had a front row seat to Henry’s Great Matter. Anne would go on to serve Anne Boleyn, in fact she served every one of Henry’s queens, but that does not seem to have affected her friendship with Mary.

Even at the height of Henry’s divorce we know that Anne and Mary exchanged letters and gifts - something that would continue throughout their lives. This practice began during the early 1530’s.

Mary (later) declared that despite Anne’s service to the new ‘Bullen’ queen she had been one of those loyal to her and her mother, and that they were “assured friends.” In her letters Mary refers to Anne as “her good Nann” or “my good gossip,” suggesting that the two young women shared confidences and updated each other on court gossip when they were apart.

The fact that they remained friends even after Anne Stanhope served Anne Boleyn and when they began to differ in matters of religion speaks volumes as to the depth of their affection.

It is almost certain that it was as part of Anne Boleyn’s household that Anne Stanhope (later a dedicated reformist) first encountered the reformed religion and its teachings. In 1533 Henry VIII declared himself supreme head of the Church Of England in order that he might grant his own divorce and marry Anne Boleyn, with Thomas Cromwell planning and later spearheading the Dissolution of the Monasteries. Anne Boleyn herself played a key role in personally and theologically pushing Henry towards this end. She supported the reformed church and in the words of Eric Ives “did so from the throne itself.” Anne appointed reformist bishops and scholars who “favoured the purer form of the gospel” including Cranmer, Latimer, Shaxton and Goodrich. She also was personally devout and likely had been influenced by and exposed to reform prior to her return to England, and her meeting with Henry. Anne’s personal faith would have been of immediate relevance and importance to her maids and ladies. She read widely and collected a vast library of books, especially in Pauls’ epistles. Books that her ladies would have had access to and been encouraged, within reason to read from. Anne would later become a reformist, to the extent that she likely gave money to Anne Askew, and was a fan of reading books that horrified Mary for their heretical contents - but it was never enough to come between them.

When Anne married Edward Seymour Mary sent a gift and she stood as godmother to her first child and to most of the later ones. Mary gave Anne’s first child a present of 20 shillings and attended Anne's churching, as well as paying Anne’s nurse another ten shillings in gratitude for her good care. Mary was delighted that Anne (now Seymour) had come through childbirth unscathed and lavished gifts and attention on the Seymour children. They would regularly visit Mary throughout her life, for example two of her daughters visited Mary in November 1537 and following Jane Seymour's death Anne sent her daughter Jane to Mary in an attempt to lift her spirits.

With Jane Seymour dead and no queen to serve Anne was now appointed to serve Lady Mary, restored to favour under Jane Seymour’s tenure as queen. This was an appointment that suited them both, but when a new queen was found Anne left to serve them in between her multitude of pregnancies.

Anne and Mary’s friendship continued under Edward IV despite their differences of religion and the pressure Mary found herself under from her brother and Seymour - my book discusses this in detail.

One of Mary’s first acts as queen was to release her friends from the Tower and on the 11th August Anne Seymour was released and walked free from the Tower after two years of imprisonment. Given their religious differences it is clear that this was a personal decision not a political one and speaks to the strength of their personal friendship which had endured at this point for over thirty years. No doubt many of their letters and gifts to each other have been lost but those which do survive as we have seen reveal their friendship to have been a deep one of respect, love and laughter: A true friendship in every sense of the word and the best evidence we have for this is the speed of Anne Seymour’ release which was not left as as afterthought but rather took place the same day as that of Mary’s strongest political supporter Bishop Stephen Gardiner. Mary went much further than simply granting Anne her freedom, she was restored to her position as Duchess of Somerset and Anne was permitted to stay at and use Syon House, as she had done for a good deal of her married life, in order that she could be close to Mary, the court and live in the manner to which she had previously been accustomed. I find this remarkable and it shows ‘bloody’ Mary at her most human.

Anne was devastated by Mary’s death but lived many more years. Today the two women lie in Westminster Abbey, not far from each other - something I’m sure both would appreciate.